Holding the Dark Season Part Three: Grief, Loneliness, and the Weight of Comparison

The dark season has a way of making absence more visible. Losses resurface. Relationships that never formed feel louder. Cultural narratives of togetherness sharpen awareness of disconnection..

Research across sociology and public health shows that loneliness increases when togetherness is culturally emphasised. Visibility fuels comparison. When others appear surrounded, those without steady connection often feel their isolation more acutely.

Grief also carries a seasonal rhythm. Changes in light, temperature, and pace can reactivate memory and emotion. For many, grief includes the loss of health, identity, or imagined futures.

These experiences reflect how deeply human nervous systems are shaped by connection and context.

A Contemplative Lens on Grief, Belonging, and Care

Contemplative traditions understand grief as an expression of love and attachment. Loneliness arises when connection matters and is missing.

From this perspective, grief does not require fixing. It requires companionship. Trauma research similarly shows that being witnessed and understood helps regulate the nervous system and soften distress.

Care here means allowing grief to exist without rushing it away or performing resilience.

Grounded Ways of Caring for Yourself in This Season

·       Lower the bar for connection. Gentle, low-demand contact still counts.

·       Name grief aloud. Language helps the nervous system organise experience.

·       Limit comparison. Curate media and environments that intensify inadequacy.

·       Create personal rituals. Simple acts of meaning can anchor the season without pressure.

If You are Struggling Right Now

If grief or loneliness feels increasingly difficult to carry, or if thoughts of wanting to disappear have emerged, you are not alone in this experience. These moments often reflect how deeply connection matters. Support can help bring steadiness and companionship through what feels unbearable.

If you are in Canada, you can call or text 9-8-8 for support at any time. If reaching out to services feels overwhelming, sharing with one trusted person can be a meaningful first step.

You deserve care and steadiness through this season, not endurance alone.