Holding the Dark Season Part Two: Compulsions, Risk, and Self-Directed Harm in the Dark Season
As the year closes and pressure accumulates, many people notice an intensification of urges. Compulsive spending. Increased substance use. Risk-taking. Self-harm thoughts or behaviours. Quiet forms of self-neglect that deepen over time.
Interdisciplinary research across trauma psychology, behavioural neuroscience, and public health shows that when stress is prolonged, the nervous system seeks efficiency. Behaviours that rapidly change sensation can interrupt overwhelm. Familiar patterns can feel stabilising when uncertainty dominates.
This season often brings more exposure and less capacity. Financial strain, social expectation, and emotional labour rise while energy diminishes. The nervous system responds by reaching for what has offered relief before, even when the cost is high.
These patterns are not random. They are signals that the system is asking for relief.
Cravings, Urges, and the Body’s Need for Quiet
Cravings and urges are often about more than substances or behaviours. They are about relief from vigilance, emotional pain, or the effort of holding everything together.
Research in addiction science shows that stress heightens sensitivity in brain systems related to reward and threat. When fatigue sets in, urges feel louder and more urgent. Shame further amplifies this cycle, increasing distress and narrowing choice.
Understanding cravings as information rather than indictment allows for a different response.
A Contemplative Lens on Urge, Suffering, and Care
From a contemplative perspective, urges arise due to conditions. They are transient states, not definitions of self. Awareness creates space between impulse and action.
This lens does not demand suppression. It invites noticing. What is the urge asking for? Rest, connection, soothing, intensity, escape?
Trauma research echoes this approach, showing that when urges are met with curiosity and relational support, the nervous system gains flexibility.
Grounded Ways of Caring for Yourself in This Season
· Interrupt fatigue. Regular meals, hydration, and rest reduce vulnerability to impulsive coping.
· Create friction gently. Small pauses before acting can increase choice without demanding restraint.
· Name the need beneath the urge. Ask what form of relief is being sought and whether another pathway exists.
· Reduce exposure when possible. Limiting time in high-trigger environments supports stability.
If You are Struggling Right Now
If urges toward self-harm or risk feel stronger, or if you are feeling pulled toward escape in ways that concern you, support matters.
You do not need to navigate this alone. Trauma-informed therapy and support spaces can help you understand what your system is responding to and develop ways of meeting those needs with care.
If you are in Canada and need immediate support, call or text 9-8-8. If that feels like too much, reaching out to one trusted person can interrupt isolation and bring grounding.